Impossibilities

to tame subtle shifts in air, columns of
thermals holding up the sky tilting
slightly to the right, the left, backwards, swaying twisting
like a falling feather or a lazy swimming snake, to take
the bent cushioning of life and make it straight,
to heal a hurt, to forever take the pain away.

 

Tease

the way the sun slants through the windows,
gracefully soaring and warming
the air as it passes.
unburdened by classes for a little while,
the feeling on the sun smiling down
on me is incomparable. but oh, when
school starts up again, that same sun
will be unbearable. teasing me with freedom
just beyond the
walls; illuminating just the clock,
so i can see how
slow
time
crawls.
and yet no matter
how i'm tortured, when i step outside
all my sighs melt into laughter,
and all my cares hang out to dry.






I can't be the only one that feels like those perfect spring/summer days love to come out while you're in the middle of class, and hang out outside the window so that you have to try really hard to concentrate.
I can't.

Jessica & Alia

She leaves an impression like bare feet in soft
earth, rain boots across dry floor, galoshes
through fresh snow. I imagine that she transforms
things sometimes, just by taking a record
of her world, as if the lens was
a wand and she was magical. Volatile,
handle with love. This side up-
side down, turning into something
more wonderful than usual.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

There is a world of distinct lines and shadows, colors
and soft circles that I cannot see; but she
can. With her eyes the world is a more intriguing
place, as if every moment is potentially
something and nothing is the wisest sort of everything
imaginable. The sunrise is brighter on her side,
the snow whiter and the world
a more [ _____ ] place. Even if I tried,
I could never erase the memory of
her face laughing in the lowlights.









Two of my muses.
Combined, they are
CAPTAIN PLANET!
[or something like that?]

Pressing

I can feel the distance growing like a solid thing,
a coil around my lungs that keeps on tightening
until it's a struggle to keep breathing.
The weight of it presses against my eyes like
fat greedy fingers fighting to find the hidden prize.
I try to push back, but the pressure holds fast.
"My Dear," Distance laughs,
"You could never fight me! I am constantly
a threat, and we'll inevitably meet
again." I wanted to forget those words, but they
itched in my chest and burned my soul with truth.
Now I feel them every time I say goodbye,
and often when I'm missing you.







Awwwww.
I can't seem to stop writing this kind of poem, possibly because I feel guilty for not keeping in touch/ visiting all of my friends.

Unable

i want to describe what’s going on
in my mind, but i can only think of metaphors
and similes that all fall short
of what i’m really thinking. i’m leaning
against a shut door, listening to him breathing
on the other side. he’s in the room with me, but i’m hiding
so he can’t see me. we’re sitting together, and i
want to reach out and touch him and let him
hold me. all of my-selves are fighting them-selves
and they’re all losing. the river is carrying
me, and i let it. there’s something i need to remember, but
i just want to forget it.






I CAN'T STOP, AAH HELP ME PLEASE.

Want

I want the sun to soak into me, absorbed
by my pores and poured
into my soul, the energy of light
used to power my life. I want
to lay in its rays like
the laziest cat, stretched
in a patch of soft warm grass. I want to bask
by the pool and on the hillsides, too:
Spring and Summer, please come soon.






Today I enjoyed the sun.
I'm so excited.

Stranger

I can barely breathe in the vacuum that you bring,
I can’t think thoughts through and I
certainly can’t say what I’m thinking [of you].
So I’m left gasping for air like I’m drowning in
this memory that I can’t let go of,
the one where ants are biting my legs
so you tell me to curl up higher onto the blanket
and I’m shivering because the dew is wet
and I’m cold so you spread your cloak over me
and just hold me,
hold me so close
under the night sky and
you fall asleep right there with your arms around me,
breathing into my hair
with my face pressed against your chest.
But
it’s just
a memory,
and so many things have changed since then
that I wonder who you are
sometimes, when I’m staring at the ceiling
when I can’t sleep at night.
Who does this love belong to?
But the last thing I saw of you was your back, and
you'll never hear what I want to say.
So I eventually fall asleep,
loving the feel of air in my lungs.









So... I just wanted to try this style out, to see if I could even do it. This was so difficult, really it was! But I liked writing it, so we'll see if I can try to mix it up every now and then.

Slow

whoosh swish thud whump
ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump beeeeeeeeep
Wait, what just happened to me?
It’s like I went all day crossing the street
and never once looked to see
if there were any cars coming. If I had looked
before I made the leap, would I have
stepped back and said, “No”?
Or would I have thrown sense to the wind and
let myself go? It’s hard enough to function
without having to think of things I don‘t know.








AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.
I just wanted to write something like, "Wait, what? Oh, eff it."

Wolfish

your voice sent shivers along my skin,
a wolfish whisper outside my door
that i wanted so badly to let in.
you huffed and puffed, you laughed and sighed-
my brick wall had crumbled,
but i didn't care at the time.
the threat of your bite,
though, still weighed on my mind-
neat little rows of tiny sharp knives,
ready to scar.
"watch out for my back," you said,
"that's where the sharpest teeth are."
i felt no danger when i touched your face,
i feared no attack while within your embrace,
but i learned the truth of that warning
when you left me one day;
strangely silent
after our final retirement
on the dewy hillside,
having just watched the sky
with our fingers entwined.
yet you breezed frigidly past,
and the teeth in your back snapped
shut on my heart. you continued to leave,
but i was too startled to think
of any reasons why you should have stayed.
It's quite some time later,
now; my scars have just faded
into strong metal bars
reinforcing my wall,
never to crumble like it did once before.
you'll be the last wolf to get past my doors.









I feel as if this one is abnormally lengthy, for some reason.
Oh, fun fact!-
"Watch out for my back, that's where the sharpest teeth are," is an actual quote from a true life experience.
I thought it was an odd thing for him to say, but it's really been quite inspiring.

Recover

The tissues and teardrops
that follow heartbreak and hardknocks
are absolutely useless, as far as I can see.
None of that crying
or dramatization can do anything
to help me get back on my feet.
Instead I should pause, think,
and continue to breathe deep.
I can't pick up the pieces
if I'm clutching my chest,
so put all that weeping and wailing to rest!

Lungs

I have to force myself
to breathe occasionally,
like my body breaks down
or forgets how to run and
needs a little push to start
again. It’s like my lungs
are trying to remind me
that while my heart may hurt
sometimes, I will always have
that urge to be alive.







Also a true story.
A friend made a comment one day about how I was sighing so much, which made me realize that I would stop breathing for a bit and then have to take this huge breath to catch up on oxygen.
It's pretty weird.

Numbing

Winter, please hold me.
I want to feel frigid arms
squeezing the warmth from my heart,
I want to paint my insides white
and feel the ice
rush inside
the sudden emptiness of me.
If you could make
me like the snow,
then I would only take
a record of love leaving
but not really feel anything
when it goes.







True Facts.
Sometimes I want to be numb to things.
But then I remember that everything is beautiful (in its own way), and I take it back.

Branded

The burden presses each capital
hot-metal-letter
into my chest, burning a word
where I let your love rest.
Deaf to Please!,
mute to Stay!,
blind to everything else
that doesn’t smell of smoke and cold
earth and pheromones. Someday
I’ll be free of
this, I know;
but how much further
down this road?






(I don't know...)
This is one of those that just sat there forEVER and bugged me until I slapped something at the end so I could say that I finished it.
But I still love it, so there. ♥

Shock

It’s like I’m in shock,
as if my heart is stopped
(except that I know that it’s not,
because it’s beating so fast!)
I don’t know whether I should laugh
or cry, or just crawl into a hole and die,
I don’t know I don’t know
I really just don’t have a clue what to do.
What is this feeling?
Am I feeling anything?
I don’t know I don’t know
I’m not entirely sure what I feel for you,
but if you’re willing to try
then so am I.





For serious.
I feel like I'm in one of those cartoons, where something goes by so fast that somebody is left spinning & then they get all dizzy with little birds or something.
Exactly like that right now.

Slips

Heartbeat skips, trips,
passes and fumbles, slips
and slides down that slope again.
I thought I wanted to just be friends?





Just a short little thing so I didn't feel guilty about completely ignoring V-Day.
Not that I really like this holiday, since I think we should celebrate love every day, but whatever, you know? I'm cool with it.

Unique

I seek solace in my speakers,
in my pen and papers,
in a story, and in sunlight.
I feel most lovely at midnight,
when the stars are shining
in the sky. British humor
makes me laugh,
and I’d rather take a bath
than a shower
at any hour. These things
make me unique,
and I love them about me.








Ooh, another poem about me.
How original,
[not].

Body

Dear Heart, please get with the program.
Every other organ
knows that the hard truth of this situation
will never change,
so we’d all appreciate
if you stopped playing this game
and just let Brain win.
Dear Heart, we hate to say that we told you so
and rub salt in your wounds, but…
we definitely warned you,
you know we did.






It's like this: I KNOW that I shouldn't feel this way. But I do, and it's really annoying.

Oceanic

I want to whisper waves against
your shoreline silhouette,
crashing my fingertips against your skin
and folding them in
to your oceanic heart until we forget
everything except
the lullaby tide
that is
us
just
breathing.







Strangely, love is always connected to the ocean in my mind.
Okay, maybe not so strange now that I think about it.

Tragedy

I was mostly sad to see the scar fade,
after wishing so much that it would stay.
Wouldn’t it be nice, I had thought,
as a reminder not to let the ice inside my heart
thaw out. What a tragedy that would be,
if I had to feel things deeply
once more.







Ugh.
I want a boyfriend.
Soulmates are so hard to come by these days.

Contentment

So I had this dream where I was dancing
with this guy while I was only wearing
a towel. Then he laid down on the tile,
and I laid down next to him, and we just
watched each other. It sounds weird now, but it
was so peaceful and comfortable and
just nice-feeling in general, I think.








7 lines, 10 beats per.
I don't think "nice-feeling" is a word, but it stays until I look something up that fits better.
He's very handsome, by the way.