Volcano

magical feeling of heat
spreading, bubbling up from beneath
the diaphragm pushing all that waste
up and out of the way, up the throat
and then explodes, like a volcano
except it's a laugh,
a laugh! the best kind, the kind
that hurts because you tried to fight
it and you lost, so you bend in half
and maybe try to hide it or choke it down
but you just keep on
keep on laughing. feels like
you should be crying maybe, but
so what?
and when it starts to fade, you can
breathe again, deep breaths and
maybe you feel a little emptier than
before. it's probably because
there's not much heavy there
anymore.







At first I feel a little angry because there I am, feeling sad, and then something funny comes along and makes me laugh and I'm like, "What the hell, funny thing!? I'm tryna be sad here." And then I try to go back to being sad, but it's already gone so I just have to shrug my shoulders and move on.

Inappropriate

the friend’s roomate’s grandfather, now dead-
my brows meet, horrified-
can’t help the hysterical giggle, trying to
force it down (down stay down!) but no use-
no idea what he makes of it, I
offer condolences and cookies and
hope that it is enough to cover
a multitude of sins.








It has come to my attention recently, that I have begun to laugh/ giggle at the most inappropriate times. I guess it's a reflex for uncomfortable situations- I laugh when I'm scared, when I don't know what to say, when I think something awful...
I have terrible reflex-actions, don't I?