one of my friends said, ‘hold on, i can’t, words’ and that has been the sad truth of my mind for quite some time. i can’t words, please hold while the program shuts down, there is no hope for communication now.yes i can speak, i can write but none of it is right, every letter is a fight and every sentence is wrong- surely this word does not belong here, surely there is a better structure for this paragraph, surely you must be joking is this all i have to work with? some days i want to calmly step out of my skin, fold it up, and step outside for a moment. other days i make sure to ride without a seatbelt and think of every scenario possible that ends with an ambulance. there are more days that i just float through, frustrated and unsure. is it enough to be alive without expressing how i feel?