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Saturday, September 26, 2009


It’s like I should be somewhere more peaceful,
experiencing a rebirth or
having a heavy burden laid down
for the last time. It’s like
every note is a hand that’s holding me,
every measure giving me the strength to breath.
Someday I’ll be truly loved
by someone, and this song
will be playing in the background
and that’s how this makes me feel right now-
like nothing is missing and
I’m perfectly fine.
Great, wonderful, glorious,
content, peaceful, humble but
sure of what I am.
In the silence afterwards,
even my heartbeat sounded beautiful.

Moonlight Sonata is so calming to listen to. It's like listening to a quiet moment with someone you love ♥

Friday, September 25, 2009


The cheerful face of
new friends lifts my spirits and
makes the concrete feel like
a moon landing, which fits
quite nicely considering the
foreign landscape. “I don’t
know where I am,” I think to myself,
“but that can change.”

First day of college :D

Thursday, September 24, 2009


-away go away go away,
don’t try to say anything
because at this point
you’ll only make things worse.
Yes I’m screaming and
you’re still talking like
a civilized being
but I told you to leave
and you didn’t so
don’t make any mistake
about it you’re not
in the right, automatically.
I just want you to go-

I'm running out of ideas... I need to get out of the house.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


I wish I could contain all
the things that will change in
a clear mason jar, like
found coins or fireflies.
Jars can only hold
so much, though,
and all I could think was:
Every time I get close,
someone has
to go.
It’s not so painful
as it was before, but
I still feel it every time
I close a door for the last time
(or sometimes, for a really long time).
Mourning will not help me, I know, so
I try my best to just enjoy the chance
of small happinesses
before I have to walk away.
The most I can make of some situations
is just to seize the day.

"Carpe Diem," because sometimes I have to make a conscious decision to be optimistic, and sometimes it's really hard, but in the end it's worth it.

I'm pretty sure that I made up the word "happinesses," which is weird because to me it's a pretty straight-forward and common sense kind of word- multiple happy things. Duh.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


The touch of damp heat lingers
like a steamy washcloth over the city, but
I can taste the smell of red leaves
on my tongue and it comforts me.
There is a season for everything,
so I hear, and I cannot wait
for Autumn to fall
like a ripe apple into my life.

I think I'll write a sonnet about Fall. I've written two about Summer, so it's only fair. Maybe I'll challenge myself not to talk about the change of color, but it's one of my favorite parts...

Monday, September 21, 2009


I wanted to wait
by the side of the road
and imagine that the rain in the gutters
was a river to carry me home.
I knew better, in the end,
than to give in.
Still, I wished that I had,
and prayed to be forgiven.

Rain usually makes me either happy & carefree, or very thoughtful & pensive.
Or sleepy.

I don't entirely know what this is about. That tends to happen quite a bit.

Saturday, September 19, 2009


I’ve had eighteen years to practice letting
go; learning from the start that no
matter what happens, the show must go
on. We’ve had all our lives to
consider Life and what it means to
us. It’s not a long enough time,
I think, but what do I know?

Inspired by 9/17/2009.

7 words per line, 7 lines. Normally I go by syllables, but whatever.

Friday, September 18, 2009


I want my bare feet
on warm concrete,
next to thigh-deep snow;
not so much heat,
just the right amount
of cold.
It'd be nice
if there was always some ice,
but never on the roads
(maybe hanging from the windows).
The trees would be bare for
only a short amount of time:
enough to rest, and then
move on with life.
And without fail, constantly
within reach
of those I love,
and who love me.

It'd be so nice if I could take a nap in snow & still have warm feet... and after that nap, we would all have a big bonfire and eat s'mores and have fun :D
Hey, it's okay to be wistful once in a while, I think.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


I liked the feel of cold
Sharpie on my skin,
as if the bold black words
were sinking in.
I felt them on me
like a warm embrace,
or fingertips with
gentle grace.

This is a true story! (shock, surprise, et cetera)
I couldn't sleep so I got out my Bible & started copying down my favorite verses... on myself. It's a very happy memory.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Tell me tomorrow
that yesterday will be
never again
with me.
At the moment, though,
it is enough for me to know
that I will heal someday.

Sometimes, all we need is someone telling us what we already know- that the hurt can't last forever, all things heal with time, this too shall pass, et cetera.
And other times, we just need to stop being a woman and move on ;)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Ant and mosquito bites
Dewy hill-sides
Planes and fireflies
Clear starry nights
Finalistic kiss-goodbyes

Summer, you are a series of words
that I could have done without.
Maybe it is better to have lost,
but it’s such a painful thing
to be taught.

gaah, It's like I'm suddenly being ambushed by all these words that are like, "Pick me, pick me!" and all I can do is this humorous sort of, "Whoa, nelly!" and be drowned.

Monday, September 14, 2009


My hands are tied
by thick black ropes
with yellow lines,
or else I’d wrap my arms around you.
As things stand
and this distance grows,
these reaching hands
are too far for safe and sound. Do
you think it’d be alright
if I called you late tonight?
I know it’s not the same,
but at least you’d hear me
say your name.

Do I already have something named "Far"? The full title would be "Far Too Far," so I gues it doesn't matter in the end.
I have this problem...? Where I fail at keeping in touch with people...? Unless I can touch them. And even then, I fail.
Working on that, though, so it's okay :D

Sunday, September 13, 2009


Maybe I’m a fine mulled wine;
you know I don’t drink,
but I could try.
And you would be something sugary-
a sweet little treat
for me to try.

I’m hungry for some comfort
so fill me with your lies.
I know you won’t be here tomorrow,
but maybe you could try.

Okay, so I already did the idea for "hungry for attention," but then I started actually getting hungry and that got me thinking about people (me) who eat for comfort. So there ya have it :D
I don't know what's with all the "try"s, I just got lazy and the repetition was easy. I almost titled this "Try," but I know that I'll use it for something better later.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


Something strange
interrupted our conversation.
A bird of prey
swooped down,
reached out,
and grabbed my friend right off the ground!
As they disappeared,
I thought I that I could hear
his voice, from a distance, say,
“Sorry, I got carried away!”

The thought came to me suddenly- Where did the phrase, "carried away" come from, and what on earth does it have to do with rambling?
While my questions remained unanswered, I did come up with this :D

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Feed me attention,
and I might do some tricks-
maybe a flip
or two.
Throw me a bone!
I just want to be noticed
by you.

"Hungry for Attention," equals full title (I think).
When I have kids, they're going to know how awesome they are.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


What else could this heart be
for? There’s got to be something
more to it than the circulation of blood.
Teenage love, while I’m not fond of you,
rage is not enough to keep me away
at the moment. If I believed
that all I could hope for was to
only to be left waiting
lonely at the door, would
I have kept on going? Despite the tears left in my
eyes, I believe that I would. So give up
trying to bring me down- I’m not
buying anything you’ve got to sell.

I felt cheesy for having the ends rhyme, so I just tricked myself into thinking it was cooler to make the beginning words rhyme. Like an optical illusion, except not...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


She picks the bruises off her apples,
and I massage the bruises on my calves.
She says that it makes the apple taste different,
and I subtly kiss the blueness on my arms.
She throws away the discolored pieces,
and I pull up my shirt to hide
the plum colored spot beneath my collarbone.
I help her eat the apple,
happy that I'm not a fruit.

I practiced sword fighting with my father yesterday, and now I'm covered in bruises. The worst looking one is this huge dark purple spot that covers half my chest from where my shield was pushed against me.

Monday, September 7, 2009


There's a knot in my neck
from where I cradled the phone
for so long,
and it reminds me that she's gone
and that I miss her.
Her laugh
covered the cracks
in my heart the way that
spackle fixes walls.
I've decided to call her more often.

Kristy called me a bit ago. We talked for almost an hour, and I didn't even talk about half the things I wanted to.

Friday, September 4, 2009


It was thoughts of him that kept me warm when no one else was home,
and the memory of his lovely laugh made me feel much less alone.
Was it selfish to want him all the time,
both in body as well as mind?
My own invitation turned to freeze me, in the end-
we are still only just friends.

"Opportunity Cost" is the full title, I believe.
I know, I know. Silly teenage angst is the fount of most poetry, unfortunately. Lucky for me, I only seriously thought like this for a fraction of a second before my intelligence actually kicked in.
I need another challenge. Any suggestions?