Comfort

"Comfort, comfort for my
people," He said and I
sank into it like the best kind
of hug plus my favorite hot drink
plus a steamy scented bath plus a
soft bed at the end of a hard day.
"Thank You, thank You,
thank You," if I said it too much
it still wouldn't be enough because
my soul is filled with the wonder of
His love.





It's what goes through my head at the end of every day.

Also, "Comfort" has already been used but this one is a little bit better but I can't think of a different word for the other one so whatever.

Indebted

It's the gratitude that tears me up at night,
the burning thankfulness
that fills my soul
and makes me cry out,
"how could i
ever repay this kindness?"








A short little thing.
There are so many wonderful people in my life.

Ventriloquist

"Speak through me," he prayed,
and I thought of the verse
where it says that we
won't have to worry
about what to say,
because the words would be
put into our mouths.
Then I thought
of Moses striking the rock,
and a stream of water
pouring out.








I don't know how my mind made the connection, but it makes sense in a way that I'm finding hard to explain.

$3.80

"Three dollars and eighty
cents," the automated voice tells me.
I have heard the number so many
times already, and
honestly, the novelty
is wearing thin.
Living from paycheck
to paycheck is no fun when
I've got big plans
and an empty wallet.






Haha.
But really.
I want to go to San Diego for Thanksgiving...

Bags

You can tell that he
has been thinking
hard about life, leaving
everything else behind.
The bags beneath his eyes
are packed and ready to go,
prepared to let the whole
world know that he's got
something heavy on his mind.







I struggled a bit with the line breaks, but I'm just going to step back now.
There was this poem earlier- "Trust"? And this is me going back to explore that "bags under the eyes" concept.

Foundation

I am watching a wave approaching,
high and mighty, hiding
the earth from the sun.
Rising up from the sea
like divine will, finally come
to test me, to see if I am strong.
I am wondering, how can I stand?
So I cling to the rock of my foundation,
ready to see if it is
not truly built on sand.







And now I've got that song stuck in my head. "All other ground is sinking sand..."

But yes.
This is the kind of time where people get to see what they're made of- I'm eager to see how I pull through this.

Cognizant

She walked past the doorway, came back for a double-take,
stood watching me for a moment from her place.
I saw her from the corner of my
eye, but didn't move until she said, "Are you
thinking deeply about life?"
I slowly turned my head, slightly confused
and taken by surprise. "Not really," I replied,
"I was only wondering what Winter will be like
here." Her shoulders sagged minutely,
and it felt like I had crushed any
high opinion she had of me. "Oh," she
sighed, "That's not quite what I thought. It's just...
You were staring outside, with this
expression on your face... Nevermind.
Goodbye!" She smiled and escaped. I looked down
at my plate and tried to think of
deep things, but only succeeded in
giving myself a headache.






I get quite a few comments like, "Are you alright?" or "What's wrong?", because apparently I get this really intense look on my face. But really, I'm pretty sure that's just my natural face.
I guess it's just strange to not be able to tell exactly what I'm thinking/ feeling? Which is normally the case.

Vagabond

everything is fine
until the quiet moments, when the
thoughts come out from their hiding places
and they are saying, "this is
not your bed, not any longer.
this is not your home anymore,"
and i heard a saying
that "absence makes the heart grow fonder"
but i ignore
all of that. there's a part of me
that wants to feel guilty
because it's funny- i don't mind
where i am so much, as long as i'm
having a good time.







New self-discovery-
Being a vagabond doesn't sound so bad, at the moment.
One of my friends said something like, "I get a little afraid every time I get into the car and start driving, because I get this feeling like I'll just keep on going." And I kinda thought to myself, "If that ever ends up happening, I want to be in the car."

Unsteady

Her hands were shaking, the needle wavering
back and forth
like the smallest dowsing rod that I had
ever seen. I took it gently from her fingertips,
assured her that I could handle this,
and watched (slightly frustrated) as she
finally started to get ready.
Everyone else is rushing to finish
things, the cake needs frosting and
Did he remember to pick up his pants?
Yes, yes, I checked this morning;
I also finished the slideshow, fixed
the uneven cake, and saved your life.
Once, it felt as if the only
steady hand around here had to be me.
Nowadays, I just lean back and
know that it doesn't matter in the end;
as long as she's happy, we did our best.







I get this temptation to think that I did so much work and that if I weren't there then things would be so much worse. It doesn't matter if that's true or not, because then I realize how self-centered and stupid that is.
Weddings are stressful for everyone involved.
This might have a tinge of the "growing up" theme...?

Figuring

to a friend who maybe doesn't know herself, i can
only say that none of us really do. and it sounds
kinda cliche, and i bet it's been said before
but it's true! the trick for me so far
has been to just take things as they come, and
burn all those other bridges as i'm crossing them.
i'm sure you'll find something that works for you,
and i'll still admire you if you don't. and maybe
you'll figure something out that doesn't include
combustion. that would be a good one.






I mean, burning bridges doesn't work for everyone. It certainly doesn't work 100% for me, but it's a work in progress.