Human

Hopelessness is threatening to crush me,
the weight of defeat and everything
pressing and tumbling and crumbling-
I am soft soil against an angry sea,
whose raging waves are tearing me
apart. I want to be a rock, a solid boulder,
a cliff that turns cold shoulders
to the fury of that storm.
But then I recall that I am human,
made of warm blood and fragile bones.
I am sitting in a building, mostly alone.
For a moment, I let myself fall
into that deep despair.
I choke on it, break under it,
breath again, and calmly
begin the repair.
It is human to err.





Found this in my Anatomy notebook. Afraid to go back to college now.

Fire

movement now brings sounds
reminiscent of a fire,
feeding on my bones
instead of wood. in
the morning, dragging
myself out of bed (pop);
in the afternoon,
stretching my back
(snap snap snap);
in the evening, collapsing
into bed (crack).
no warmth, only a dull ache
and audible reminder
of deterioration,
like erosion
and rust.





Seriously, you guys. It's getting ridiculous. Knees, hips, back, shoulders, elbows. Slowly falling apart here.

(3 haikus)

I won't miss the rats,
the roaches, or the heat; but
maybe I'll miss you.

--

We console ourselves
with the countdown, marking off
days as they crawl by.

--

If I had to wait
any longer to see you,
I think I'd explode.






These weren't formed with the idea of making a series, but they fit together well enough so there ya go.

Apprehension

Is there a word for this, the sense
of feeling a loss
before it is taken away?
The smell of citrus blossoms,
the sight of cactus and mountains;
the things that are here now, but will soon
be left behind. Apprehension, foreboding, déjà vu,
loneliness in a crowd of people?
And then the knowing
that there will always
be this feeling,
no matter where, because there is
so much to love about the world
that it can’t all fit in one place.
If only it could.






It's a win-win/ lose-lose sort of situation, but I'll try to make the best of things. They don't have Bob Evans or Steak & Shake, Ohio doesn't have Jamba Juice or good, cheap fro-yo (that I know of?). Why can I only think of food examples?