Emotional Roller-Coaster

I am remembering the roller-coaster, the buildup 
of gravity in my bones- [chik].[chik].
[chik].[chik]. 
and on and on until 
silence 
and the 
drop 
and the 
scream. 
It’s been so long since I've seen 
the world rush by- but I can feel it now,
and when I ache to tell you about 
the roller-coaster I’ve been riding on, 
the physical memory seems 
so much better, by comparison.



-------

I have a lot of feelings.
I am tempted to bake a cake.

Maps Are Dumb.

I press my finger flat against the map,
momentarily tempted to push straight through
but it wouldn't do any good.
The length of two knuckles- there are small scars
littering this hand, compounding papercuts and
childhood mistakes-
two knuckles and over two hundred miles.
I can't think of anything else lately,
I'm being eaten by a beast
and these miles are teeth.
Distance is my boulder,
and I am always struggling
uphill.



---
Fun Fact-
I am a terrible navigator.
Not-so-fun-fact-
less than half my soulfriends (and regular friends!) are living in my home state.
I have a bad habit of making friends with people when I travel someplace... which certainly doesn't help!

slow dawning

i remember the moment when i knew
we would be friends,
laying awake before bed-
the best description i can manage is
that i felt our friendship
solidifying-
tightening
around my heart,
blooming among my ribs
and various vital organs.
i smiled,
went to sleep,
and dreamt of warm nothings.


---
this past summer, i saw a friend who i hadn't seen/ spoken to in a few years, and i was nervous because i tend to overthink things and what if we're too different to really be friends now? but it was alright, and i'm really happy about it still!
also,
this is how i feel most of my friendships, so that's a cool thing that actually happens.