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Sunday, February 23, 2014

troubled water

You can't spell 'damage' without 'dam', the kind we build
to hold back water and ourselves,
which is interesting when you think
that symbolically speaking (in terms of dreaming,
at least) water represents our emotions.
In my dreams I have fought wars 
underwater but mostly there is snow, and
I thought you might like to know that this means I am
damaged too, we are all damaged. We have been taught
that growing up is learning to suppress
and to accept disappointment,
which can't be spelled without 'point' and sometimes
I can feel that too, a bitter edge twisting in my chest.
A perfect example- my colleague wanted so badly
to give someone a second chance,
he truly believed that as time progressed
they would meet his expectations. I stood by
and observed as the inevitable happened- I 
saw the hope die in his eyes, I saw that dying light
crushed beneath hard heels like so much dirt. 
I saw his expression and it hurt us both, that
sharp disappointment.
What's harder to learn about growing up is that
we can't stop,
we must keep going; and although we are
building up our dams we are just as capable
of building bridges. It takes time, but maybe
someone else is also beginning on their bridge,
and reaching out is difficult but
work goes faster when you have a team.
Asking for help doesn't make you weak-
it makes you human, and I thought that you should know
that I'm here, I'm also human.
My bridge is marble: heavy to carry, but when it's complete
won't it be beautiful to see.

Found this in one of my notebooks while I was looking for something entirely different! I didn't know what to do with it, I still don't so here it is...
I feel as if I could probably have cut this into two separate poems? But I'm not sure.
The point is-
Growing up is a completely fictional experience. We learn to deal with things, we mature into fully grown humans, but some of us are never going to change and some of us change too much and yet we put them both into the same "adult" category. None of that for me, please! I'll take a wise ten year-old over a grown man who lacks empathy and kindness.

1 comment:

alia said...

so true! i agree. adulthood is this mystical land, where each person discovers something different