Untangled

Fingers laced together, stretched across
the knees crossed in front of my chest
(defensive posture, I have heard).
Everything is knotted.
Intestines, vocal chords,
trains of thought-
jumbled, snarled, twisted. He waits
while I comb out the tangles, us breathing
and drinking our tea. Sighs.
Finally, “I’m afraid-“
(pause, breathe, switch legs.)
“-that I will never
feel that way again.”
Momentary weightlessness, disorientation,
paralyzing apprehension. Then-
blessed relief; the abrupt alleviation of worry.
Oh, when freedom is a broken silence!
Fingers ease apart, and
my body follows.






Yup. I think in this instance, the problem was less of what I thought it was and more of how I was unwilling to really think/ talk about it.

Canyon

She is a canyon,
beautiful in the setting sun.
Cut by wind and water, eroded
over time; worn down,
tired, lovely.
Her delicate wrists are worrying-
boulders balanced on thin
ridges, miraculous and
terrifying. Her brown eyes
carry ages with them; it is like
looking into a chasm,
into a deep unknown darkness
that nothing fills.
I wish for her to be a meadow
or a stream, mountains
or hills at least. But she
is a canyon,
enchanting and alarming;
and it is killing me.







Formed right as I was falling asleep. As in I was actually in a semi-dreaming state, and then this came into my head, and I woke myself up and wrote down what I could remember. It was obviously better in my dream, but this is the gist.