Facetious

_{Hello, goodbye,
it's time again
for this cruel world to meet its end.
Argentina, do not cry-
with this fall I die!
(whoosh)
(crack)
Ow!
I'm alive!
(high five)
Killing myself is the way I survive,
can't you see?
Nobody understands me!
Oh!
Cup of tea?
Certainly.
I take mine with cyanide-
a more sophisticated suicide,
don't you think?
So now, my sorrows, sink!
(gulp)
(cough)
Oh, no!
Not enough sugar, I fear,
to drown the taste of my tears.
All these years
I have tried,
but I just can't seem to die!
Killing myself is the way I survive.
A game of chess?
Oh yes!
Just as soon as I tie this rope-
so ends my only hope!
Goodbye, I cry,
and fall and die!
(creak)
(snap)
Oh!
The rope wasn't as strong as I'd thought-
this is the fifth good rope that I've bought!
What a waste,
and not even good taste!
So ends my failure-
(don't buy it)
Next time I swear that I'll bite it!}

It's more Tongue in Cheek, actually, but that's more than one word and I'm rather fond of my one-word titles.

Anyways, I wrote this a long time ago and lost it, and have just recently re-discovered it. It's quite hilarious, if I do say so myself.

I think it was titled, "Killing Myself is the Way I Survive."