Sonata

_{It’s like I should be somewhere more peaceful,
experiencing a rebirth or
having a heavy burden laid down
for the last time. It’s like
every note is a hand that’s holding me,
every measure giving me the strength to breath.
Someday I’ll be truly loved
by someone, and this song
will be playing in the background
and that’s how this makes me feel right now-
complete,
like nothing is missing and
I’m perfectly fine.
Great, wonderful, glorious,
content, peaceful, humble but
sure of what I am.
In the silence afterwards,
even my heartbeat sounded beautiful.}





Moonlight Sonata is so calming to listen to. It's like listening to a quiet moment with someone you love ♥

Freshman

_{The cheerful face of
hopefully
soon-to-be
new friends lifts my spirits and
makes the concrete feel like
a moon landing, which fits
quite nicely considering the
foreign landscape. “I don’t
know where I am,” I think to myself,
“but that can change.”}





First day of college :D

Provoked

_{-away go away go away,
don’t try to say anything
because at this point
you’ll only make things worse.
Yes I’m screaming and
you’re still talking like
a civilized being
but I told you to leave
and you didn’t so
don’t make any mistake
about it you’re not
in the right, automatically.
I just want you to go-}






I'm running out of ideas... I need to get out of the house.

Carpe

_{I wish I could contain all
the things that will change in
a clear mason jar, like
found coins or fireflies.
Jars can only hold
so much, though,
and all I could think was:
Every time I get close,
someone has
to go.
It’s not so painful
as it was before, but
I still feel it every time
I close a door for the last time
(or sometimes, for a really long time).
Mourning will not help me, I know, so
I try my best to just enjoy the chance
of small happinesses
before I have to walk away.
The most I can make of some situations
is just to seize the day.}






"Carpe Diem," because sometimes I have to make a conscious decision to be optimistic, and sometimes it's really hard, but in the end it's worth it.

I'm pretty sure that I made up the word "happinesses," which is weird because to me it's a pretty straight-forward and common sense kind of word- multiple happy things. Duh.

Ripened

_{The touch of damp heat lingers
like a steamy washcloth over the city, but
I can taste the smell of red leaves
on my tongue and it comforts me.
There is a season for everything,
so I hear, and I cannot wait
for Autumn to fall
like a ripe apple into my life.}






I think I'll write a sonnet about Fall. I've written two about Summer, so it's only fair. Maybe I'll challenge myself not to talk about the change of color, but it's one of my favorite parts...

Gutters

_{I wanted to wait
by the side of the road
and imagine that the rain in the gutters
was a river to carry me home.
I knew better, in the end,
than to give in.
Still, I wished that I had,
and prayed to be forgiven.}






Rain usually makes me either happy & carefree, or very thoughtful & pensive.
Or sleepy.

I don't entirely know what this is about. That tends to happen quite a bit.

Age

_{I’ve had eighteen years to practice letting
go; learning from the start that no
matter what happens, the show must go
on. We’ve had all our lives to
consider Life and what it means to
us. It’s not a long enough time,
I think, but what do I know?}






Inspired by 9/17/2009.

7 words per line, 7 lines. Normally I go by syllables, but whatever.

Wistful

_{I want my bare feet
on warm concrete,
next to thigh-deep snow;
not so much heat,
just the right amount
of cold.
It'd be nice
if there was always some ice,
but never on the roads
(maybe hanging from the windows).
The trees would be bare for
only a short amount of time:
enough to rest, and then
move on with life.
And without fail, constantly
within reach
of those I love,
and who love me.}





It'd be so nice if I could take a nap in snow & still have warm feet... and after that nap, we would all have a big bonfire and eat s'mores and have fun :D
Hey, it's okay to be wistful once in a while, I think.

Sharpie

_{I liked the feel of cold
Sharpie on my skin,
as if the bold black words
were sinking in.
I felt them on me
like a warm embrace,
or fingertips with
gentle grace.}







This is a true story! (shock, surprise, et cetera)
I couldn't sleep so I got out my Bible & started copying down my favorite verses... on myself. It's a very happy memory.

Reassured

_{Tell me tomorrow
that yesterday will be
never again
forever
with me.
At the moment, though,
it is enough for me to know
that I will heal someday.}





Sometimes, all we need is someone telling us what we already know- that the hurt can't last forever, all things heal with time, this too shall pass, et cetera.
And other times, we just need to stop being a woman and move on ;)

Summary

<sub>Ant and mosquito bites
Dewy hill-sides
Planes and fireflies
Clear starry nights
Finalistic kiss-goodbyes

Summer, you are a series of words
that I could have done without.
Maybe it is better to have lost,
but it’s such a painful thing
to be taught.</sub>






gaah, It's like I'm suddenly being ambushed by all these words that are like, "Pick me, pick me!" and all I can do is this humorous sort of, "Whoa, nelly!" and be drowned.
:|
theworstpartisthatthisisn'twhatiwantedtowriteabout!
ihatewritingaboutheartbreak!
butit'ssoeasy!

Far

_{My hands are tied
by thick black ropes
with yellow lines,
or else I’d wrap my arms around you.
As things stand
and this distance grows,
these reaching hands
are too far for safe and sound. Do
you think it’d be alright
if I called you late tonight?
I know it’s not the same,
but at least you’d hear me
say your name.}







Do I already have something named "Far"? The full title would be "Far Too Far," so I gues it doesn't matter in the end.
ANYWHO.
I have this problem...? Where I fail at keeping in touch with people...? Unless I can touch them. And even then, I fail.
Working on that, though, so it's okay :D

Hungry

<sub>Maybe I’m a fine mulled wine;
you know I don’t drink,
but I could try.
And you would be something sugary-
a sweet little treat
for me to try.

I’m hungry for some comfort
so fill me with your lies.
I know you won’t be here tomorrow,
but maybe you could try.</sub>







Okay, so I already did the idea for "hungry for attention," but then I started actually getting hungry and that got me thinking about people (me) who eat for comfort. So there ya have it :D
I don't know what's with all the "try"s, I just got lazy and the repetition was easy. I almost titled this "Try," but I know that I'll use it for something better later.

Carried

_{Something strange
interrupted our conversation.
A bird of prey
swooped down,
reached out,
and grabbed my friend right off the ground!
As they disappeared,
I thought I that I could hear
his voice, from a distance, say,
“Sorry, I got carried away!”}






The thought came to me suddenly- Where did the phrase, "carried away" come from, and what on earth does it have to do with rambling?
While my questions remained unanswered, I did come up with this :D

Attention

_{Feed me attention,
and I might do some tricks-
maybe a flip
or two.
Throw me a bone!
I just want to be noticed
by you.}






"Hungry for Attention," equals full title (I think).
When I have kids, they're going to know how awesome they are.

Determined

_{What else could this heart be
for? There’s got to be something
more to it than the circulation of blood.
Teenage love, while I’m not fond of you,
rage is not enough to keep me away
at the moment. If I believed
that all I could hope for was to
only to be left waiting
lonely at the door, would
I have kept on going? Despite the tears left in my
eyes, I believe that I would. So give up
trying to bring me down- I’m not
buying anything you’ve got to sell.}






I felt cheesy for having the ends rhyme, so I just tricked myself into thinking it was cooler to make the beginning words rhyme. Like an optical illusion, except not...

Fruit

_{She picks the bruises off her apples,
and I massage the bruises on my calves.
She says that it makes the apple taste different,
and I subtly kiss the blueness on my arms.
She throws away the discolored pieces,
and I pull up my shirt to hide
the plum colored spot beneath my collarbone.
I help her eat the apple,
happy that I'm not a fruit.}





I practiced sword fighting with my father yesterday, and now I'm covered in bruises. The worst looking one is this huge dark purple spot that covers half my chest from where my shield was pushed against me.

Cradle

_{There's a knot in my neck
from where I cradled the phone
for so long,
and it reminds me that she's gone
and that I miss her.
Her laugh
covered the cracks
in my heart the way that
spackle fixes walls.
I've decided to call her more often.}




Kristy called me a bit ago. We talked for almost an hour, and I didn't even talk about half the things I wanted to.

Cost

_{It was thoughts of him that kept me warm when no one else was home,
and the memory of his lovely laugh made me feel much less alone.
Was it selfish to want him all the time,
both in body as well as mind?
My own invitation turned to freeze me, in the end-
we are still only just friends.}





"Opportunity Cost" is the full title, I believe.
I know, I know. Silly teenage angst is the fount of most poetry, unfortunately. Lucky for me, I only seriously thought like this for a fraction of a second before my intelligence actually kicked in.
I need another challenge. Any suggestions?

Romance

_{abruptly fascinated with the sound of a voice, heart racing when hands collide and intertwine (magnificent, a thought says somewhere, absolutely wonderful). it almost hurts to make eye contact, so deep and sweet that warning signs are going up somewhere, shouting in bold red letters, “Warning! Attention! Danger of drowning, Surgeon General thinks cavities are bad!” and in a place not too far from here a toothbrush is sighing because everyone knows that eyes cannot cause cavities (the toothpaste is feeling macabre and comments, “while they’re still seeing, at least.”). But here, in this moment, there are no toothbrushes or surgeon generals or anything else at all, really (except for the stray thoughts that manage to get loose and are humming or screaming or neither)- there are only two bodies, suddenly magnetic (one of the stray thoughts argues against this for the sake of science, but is soon quieted) and the magnetism increases and even the stray thoughts disappear in the warm blur of sight and sound. Time stretches, stops, turns around, and throws its hands up in the air, saying to no one in particular, “well there goes the neighborhood,” and two bodies are almost too busy to smile.}



This is another challenge that I gave myself. I like this one better, because it's more how my brain works (ie- random thoughts popping up during inappropriate times).
The challenge was to write about love/ romance/ kissing (whatever!) without using; I, you, he, she, we, love, or any variant of kiss.

Forgiveness

_{-like letting go of something heavy; and when you get used to having something and then it's gone you feel naked, lighter, slightly unsure. when you feel one thing for a long time and suddenly decide to feel something else, becoming disoriented. pulling weeds, having a garage sale, spring cleaning; your mind is one step closer to godliness. someone in your life abruptly asks, "didn't you hate that person?" and you reply, "yes, but not anymore." after holding something for so long, your fingers hurt to unclench, but it's a good hurt because it's over. everything is over. you feel-}





It goes in a loop, you see. You forgive one thing, and it feels so good you try to forgive one more thing. It doesn't work like that usually, but it should.
It's not really poetry? It's more prose. It was a 100 word challenge I gave myself.

Creek

_{could the cold wind have cut
through the happiness within us?
i thought not,
and even when the current caught
his camera lens cap
we just tried to laugh it off
because none of us wanted the moment to end.
so we threw rocks
into what we called the river
but more likely was a creek,
and I took pictures of the couples
and reflections of the street.
our feet were swinging off the edge
of a perfect little concrete ledge
that led off from the rusty bridge
(the one that we wanted to see).
alex threw rocks
and lance was thinking,
caitlin and i were sometimes singing-
mostly it was her, but that was okay with me.
when i wasn't helping caitlin sing,
i was mostly pondering about the tree
that looked as if magic
would happen around or under it,
and wondered what this would be like
if it had grown on this side
of the creek and not the other,
so we would be beneath its leaves.
eventually, we had to go.
while i was sad to leave,
i was glad to have come-
a memory can last me for pretty long.}




Yay for being alumni.
The creek-thing kinda smelled, actually, but the bridge was SUPER fantastic & romantic-looking.

Expectations

_{It isn't anything like what I expected;
no cravings
for ice cream
or sad movies,
no teary eyed
goodbyes
or staying up all night.
Can it really be heartbreak
if he's not the one
that broke my heart?}




I keep thinking that I'll get hit with a sudden urge to go cry in a corner or watch The Notebook or something like that, but I only feel really quiet inside.

Solid

_{My feelings are not words, so
my small hands grasp for
a way to express this
jumbled and knotted thing
that lives inside of me.
My feelings, however, stay
out of reach, and my
fingers clasp empty air,
useless in their
solidity.}




Next up- liquid & gas. Maybe plasma :D
Yes, another poem about how I suck at explaining things.

Plummet

_{I started to slip
off the edge of a cliff
and thought,
"Would I rather fall
or jump?"
So I leapt
into the air and
p
l
u
m
m
e
t
e
d
to the rocks below.
Before I hit the ground,
I began to slow
down, until I was skimming
over the earth.
I was so excited
by my flying,
that the adrenaline shook me awake.
Just before I opened by eyes,
I remember thinking,
"But to where will I fly?"}



Another dream poem. You know that you're a at least a bit cynical when you even suck the fun out of your dreams :D

Sister/ Sieanna

_{I know that you must have gotten angry
with me, but I can't recall
when you ever were mean.
Whenever my friends meet you for
the first time, they're stunned by how
beautiful you are. I bask in our sisterhood, then.
When you still lived with us,
I would sometimes hear you crying in your room.
I hated that there was nothing I could do,
and would sit outside your door
crying with you.
Recently, I've discovered that I don't like
you boyfriend, but I'd hate to tell you because
you've already put up with it so much
from our other female relatives.
I'll never want to visit you again, though,
because I don't want to see him manipulating you.
I'm not a kid anymore, but there's still nothing I can do.}




Yeah, after that one for Mickey, I kind of wrote one for everyone in my family. This is the only one that almost made me cry.

Brother

_{Today I made you dress yourself
like I've always wanted you to,
and it nearly broke my heart.
You look less like a child every day
(even when we get you confused
and make you forget if you're ten
or thirteen).
Tomorrow, you promised to go with me
on a picnic. It's my hope
that you'll look less like vampire.
I wonder, sometimes,
what your first girlfriend will be like,
and if she'll know more about you
than I do. Right now,
however,
you are simply asleep,
so I can stop worrying.}



I made him wear shorts, and when my mother saw him she was amazed that he had hair on his legs. "When did that happen?" she exclaimed. It's common belief that he'll never get past puberty, and we seem astonished to be proven wrong.

Sleep

_{several shades of sunset sang me sweet to sleep,
and I smiled to see the colors spread to the treetops and their leaves.
It was a lovely little lullaby, in the way that some things grow,
and I was slightly at a loss for words when I knew it had to go.
But the night sky wrapped me in its shining light, and the dark began to rock me;
the moon pulled up my blankets, and the stars kissed goodnight so softly.
I closed my eyes and thought of all the dreams I've dreamt
and down the road to sleep I went.}





Things like this always start with just a few words of alliteration that puddle and pool and eventually pour out of my mind. They never seem fully formed, though, and this poem-ette is no different in that respect. I never know how to complete it!

Wrong?

Maybe there's an art to this, that I
haven't mastered yet. A way to hold
your heart so that the world
sinks deeper into it; and love,
along with other silly things,
can enter in. Is the trick in the wrist?
The twitch of my lips must not be perfect,
nor the sway of my hips or the way my fingertips
are buried in my fists; the way I laugh
instead of cry, or get excited about fighting.
Do you suppose that my legs are too rarely seen?
But who knows is any of this is true-
I'm just pulling at strings.
When it comes to deep, I
can rarely think things through.







Another one of those spur-of-the-moment, get-this-out-of-my-system things that I have a tendency to write.

Spat

_{she spat poisonous paragraphs, and I hurried to wipe them away. what could I say to the cold calculation that laid out my life for inspection? so i pressed my lips tight against the tide of replies that i might have spat back in return; since i couldn't think of how to speak, i thought it best not to use any words.}



I'm sure I'm drawing off of some memory here, but I can't remember so I guess I can't be bitter about it...

Birds

_{When we were birds we perched on trees; we cleaned
our wings and then headed east. We caught the
rising sun, tied it to our beaks, and brought
it with us home. Then we caught the setting
one, so that our daytime felt more complete.}


5 lines, 10 beats per.
Been a while since I had to open up my brain and look inside.

P.S.

_{I wrote you a letter full of words, about the things that are happening to me and answers to your questions. What I didn't say was that yesterday I dreamed of you and woke up hoping that it wasn't not true. I also didn't say that when I next see you in two weeks, I'll probably forget all about how much I want to hate your guts. I'll most likely forget that you're lazy and have a strangely shaped head, and perhaps I'll want to kiss you instead.}






I know, I know! But it's such an addicting style of writing for me. I just need to learn how to divide it into lines and breaks and stanzas. I hate breaking things apart, though...

Hopeless

_{I didn't want to keep hoping, because the last time I reached for the stars they reached back and burned me. Now I'd much rather sit and nurse crispy fingertips until they are cool enough to use, back to normal temperature and feeling brand new. We can still have fun with our feet on the ground, and if you squint your eyes just right the fireflies become stars all around us (only these ones won't hurt if you hold them in your hands). But when I sat back in the grass and looked past their blinking lights, and the sky was black and covered with clouds, it was all I could do not to sigh and hope for someone I knew. I stopped myself before the wish was fully formed, and used my useless hands to keep my cold body warm.}



This is me trying my hand at that weird style of prosetry that I love to read.

I think I may be better at reading it than writing it...

Free

_{I've been caryying a burden, quite staggering in size
in a pack across my back and in bags under my eyes.
Now this weight was cumbersome, but I felt that I had to endure;
when I asked myself the reason why, I found I wasn't sure.
This load was not for someone I love, or a secret I promised to keep,
it was not for a memory that made me smile, or a song to help me sleep;
it served no purpose at all, in fact, in any form, shape, or way.
So I took it down, set it on the ground, and quickly walked away!
Now I am traveling light these days, and in case it wasn't plain to see-
without that load, my road is easier. Finally, I'm free!}




So, I decided to not be emo and just move on with life. Hormones suck :D

Knotted

_{I wanted to ask you what all this was about,
but it was all I could do to keep my foot out of my mouth.
So I ended up struggling with the knots in my chest
and just let the silence take care of the rest.
I can't say I'm proud that I let the chance go,
but since I didn't take the plunge, at least I'm not cold.}


I always end up with my foot in my mouth. Even if I don't say anything- actions speak louder than words and all that. It would be funnier if it wasn't me.

Coward

<sub>a thousand words live and die
short lives
graves of crumpled paper and torn pages
epitaphs written on erasers
scribbled over with pen
never to be read again.

Is it just me, or do you-
I'm afraid to say this, but-
I know you never said that-
Please don't misunderstand-
We were never really alone, and-
Don't get me wrong-
I just passed up the chance, thinking-
What could I have done to-
It's hard for me to describe.

Rest in Silence.

Your presence saps the common sense from my mind
and what courage there is in my heart.
I'd like to end this, but
I can barely get a start.

It's not like I don't want to
I just can't

when I think of you.</sub>


...
I am a superb idiot.

And I think I already have a post called "Cowardly," and it might be too close but they're not exactly the same so I'll survive for now.

Shell

_{There are no sounds or words for it,
no songs or paintings that come close to it,
no sculptures or photographs.
There's nothing at all, in fact,
that could could ever convey
what it is I want to say.
So I'll stick to what's familiar
and ignore it until we're
thoroughly afraid
of even mentioning its name.
Then the silence, I hope,
will begin to corrode
the feelings I carry inside
of me.
And with time I may discover
that with nothing left to uncover
I will only have to hide
what is empty.}



I thoroughly despise not knowing how to express an emotion, but sometimes there just isn't anything I can do about it.

Nervous

_{Heart running tripping
sprawled panting
on the uneven cement
in my throat.
Hands shaking reaching
for nothing in particular, then
dropping it.
Breath hitching
eyes twitching
all systems in unanimous agreement-
we are nervous.}


I hate that feeling. I can give speeches, squish bugs, trap birds/ bats, fight in heavy weapons; but put me in a room full of people I don't know and I get the trembles.

Contagion

the sweet blossoming of warmth, starting
somewhere between my lungs before becoming
one with the cells that spread outward, until
all of my blood is singing
with a golden glow, the stiffness of being alone
washed away in the flow, it's filling my chest
so that when I breathe out I can imagine
the coil of it unfolding in the air, tendrils of it
caught in the wind and carried away so that
someone else can breathe it in
and say, "beautiful, yes,
thank you, I'm better than okay."






I've discovered that it's completely true- happiness is contagious.
I love it when people make me happy, and I love making people happy, and I love seeing happy people. It's just one of those gorgeous things.

Smile

_{If my words could mend a broken soul,
then I'd make sure that you were whole.
If my words could break down stubborn doors,
then I'd make mine strong and use them more.
But since they can't, I'll waste time a while,
and see if I can just make you smile.}


Cute little thing.

Song

<sub>I am nearly nude
on the sunny side of the roof,
letting summer's song
soak into me.
The cold, crystalline clink
of ice in a glass of water
Bluejays screaming their anger
(at something or other)
Dogs barking, doors slamming
The swoosh of tires on hot asphalt
The general hum of things
like air conditioning,
that I wouldn't miss
until they suddenly turn

off.</sub>


I made myself a tall, cold glass of lemonade yesterday, and spent a nice time tanning.
I love lemonade.

Safe

_{Songbirds are chirpring merrily
among the sun touched greenery
and I am still in bed.
I admit, it is my intention
to stay inside, where there's no danger of rejection
or chance for disappointment.
Now I find myself safe,
but also alone.
If I can't win both ways,
do I still want to call this home?}



I'm so bored of sleeping.

March 13

_{Ohio turns to watch as Spring comes,
as it runs
and walks and pants heavily,
steam clouds of hot breath and rain,
frigid nights that thaw in the day.
Songbirds and mourning doves,
melting snow and the promise of buds
on branches,
a sky bluer than any country ranch's.
Always, however, a constant threat
that it may still snow.
Hold your breath,
Spring isn't here yet-
there are a few more days to go!}



This was also for Spring, and doubled as a birthday present for my younger sister that I never ended up giving her. I could just set this to magically appear next year on her birthday, but I'm bored and feeling revengeful.

Suspense

_{It is a wonderfully suspenseful thing
to sit and wait for Spring
where I am.
It's one of those days
when you turn up your face
to the sun, like a flower,
and long to take off your coat.
The air is cold, although
the sky is free of clouds
and very, very blue.
I'm not sure if these days
have a name;
the kind when, through the window panes,
it seems to be
Spring already.
Like an illusion or a dream,
only not.}



This is for Spring, whom I miss quite dearly.
The truth is that I cannot stand the intense hot and muggy climate of Summer. I love roses and swimming pools and ice cream but I CANNOT enjoy having my own sweat re-condense on me. Ew.

Understanding

<sub>I'm prepared to bare my soul,
but it seems as if you already know.
I feel like words are mocking me,
and the natural, solid way of things;
this way of existing.
Words are all I have,
but they
are strangling me.

Does this make sense?
Ignore that- it doesn't matter.
In the end, it's just the
understanding
that I'm after.</sub>


Almost word for word. You don't mind if I plagiarize, do you?
It seems as if you sometimes think in poetry, and I can't help but to reshape it a little.

Summer

_{The sweet caress of summer sunlight sneaks
its way into the hearts of men. We lay
with simple pleasure in the light, and play
in greener fields, until our new techniques
and secret jokes are mastered. Light barely peaks
above the trees- we wave goodbye, and day
becomes the night. Again we chase away
our cares, till eyelids droop and Sandman speaks
of sweeter dreams. And while we softly sleep,
our skin (in honor of the sun) does shade
itself in newer colors. When we wake,
we laugh and say that red and brown can keep
their place (except your red, of course, which fades).
So welcome, summer; what you give, we'll take.}


(a/b/b/a/a/b/b/a, c/d/e/c/d/e)
The first sonnet was wishing for summer to come, and this is the sonnet for after summer comes. I suppose that's what it is, at least.

Written

_{I can better arrange words on paper,
they being more volatile suspended in the air.
Either way, it is difficult for me to leave my soul bare.
So I forsake the breath and vapor
of spoken things,
preferring to carve out what I think.}



It's true. I fail at speaking.

Again

_{I have begun to dream again, a refreshing sight
after so many colorless nights.
About the oddest things again,
like love and school and blinding lights.
Tests of strength and alien wars,
places I have never been before-
I have missed the strangest sights.}

For a while there, I couldn't remember whether or not I had dreamed. It's so boring to wake up and not remember anything. I missed dreaming~♥

Sonnet

_{My Dearest Summer, Hurry please! We long
for warmth and sunlight only you can bring.
We want for flowers, birds (they, singing, belong
in trees). Follow quickly after Spring,
if you cannot find your way. We lay
waiting on the beaches, sprawled among
the pools and sun prone places, wiling away
our time. Patient for your touch, the young
and old alike sit sighing at their doors,
ready to rush into your light. Embrace
us once more, dear summer! Hardwood floors
covet your conductive heat. People’s faces
yearn for color. So Summer, I’m on my knees!
If you can (or can’t), make haste, please!}



OH MY GOODNESS
I didn't think that I could write in anything even resembling structure, but I tried my hand at sonnets a bit ago and discovered that I love them.
This one was inspired by Alia ♥

Poetic

_{I was a poet, in my dream. Kisses fell like snow falls like I cannot recall upon wakening. Words embraced me in my mind and I never wanted to leave them behind, but they flew from my mouth to fly south with all the other birds of paradise. Even my goodbyes left me, and all I could do was what I know- hold and love and kiss like snow.}

I have a lot of weird dreams, in case it wasn't obvious.

Cowardly

_{I wrote the letters fully intending to send them to their recipients and then I would be free. I was very pleased when I finished my writing, and tucked them in a pocket of my notebook. Since then, I haven’t even looked at the folded things. Maybe I fear that if I touch them they will sprout wings, and then they will be free.}


Stupid letters.

Demise

_{Someone twists a knife in my gut, and I cannot see. I fight against the attack, but I’m only fighting me. Every time I think of him- the way his hair blew in the wind, the color of his eyes, the way his voice rumbled when he said goodbye- I am the cause of my own demise.}


Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself...

Unreal

_{I can somewhat recall his smile
while we sat by the fire,
and the warmth of his body next to mine.
The edges of his face
are beginning to become erased
by space and time.
It does not matter in the end,
since he wasn't as real as we are.
Dreams can only get us so far.}


I had a dream that I fell in love with Death, and the more I loved him the more handsome he became to me (but he was only handsome to me- to everyone else he looked ugly).
He had a very nice house, and had a minivan.

Wonderland

<sub>First it creeps on autumn's tepid breath-
a snap on your tongue,
a soft spoekn sigh,
"There is only a short time left."

it hides in the painted canvas of leaves,
whistling in your lungs
when you say goodbye-
Patiently waiting for the season's first freeze.

There it stays for a while,
perhaps lost,
until Fall has run
its last colorfully drawn out mile.

Then it sprouts from the grass;
a field of frost,
diamonds in the sun,
crystal ferns pressed against the glass.

And all at once it descends,
falling in flakes
that cling to hair,
breaking past the season that only bends.

Everything is covered in cotton, white
like the frozen lakes
and breath in the air.
The sun's rays are caught, and magnified.

So winter has come in all its shining glory-
blue skies,
white earth;
but there is an end to every story.

Icicles begin to melt their final tears
for goodbyes
and rebirth,
and begins to dream of the coming year.</sub>

LOOOOOOOONG!

Musical

_{My beartbeat is the sound of a thousand pounding drums inside my chest. A very merry nervous tune played against my xylophone ribcage breast. My breath dances in my throat and ears. I am musical for you, but you are not close enough to hear.}

Some people get noticeably nervous when they're around someone they like. I haven't noticed anything that might give me away, but my insides sure do go crazy.

Real

_{"I'm in love!" she sighed.
"That's wonderful!" I lied.
I did not want to see her
swooning over his boogers
or laughing at the wrong time
(every other line)
for his jokes.
Maybe it's because I think
that knights in shining armor things
are only normal people underneath.
Hidden behind that metallic suit
might be an artist, a jock, or blue
green, brown eyes for you
to look into.
"He's terrible!" she cried.
"No," I whispered, very quiet,
"he is just real life."}

I probably should've saved this for Valentine's Day.
Don't worry, I'll have written something for it by then.

ANYWHO.

Females can be so annoying sometimes... I mean, really. Guys don't sneeze rainbows, and neither do you, so just be human together.

Shuffle

_{It’s not like I never
Watching the stars with you
wanted you to come closer-
seemed magical, but
I was only afraid of
we aren’t in a fairytale, and
you having to leave.
I’m not a princess.}

I love disjointed things ♥

And it reminds me of how the Grudge moved... In a poetic, non-scary kind of sense.

So I basically wanted to write something that flowed but didn't, so I took two seperate stanza things and just shuffled them together. TA-DA!

I hope it isn't too obvious that I'm a sham...

Back

_{I woke up one morning to find
a note that I don't remember writing.
"Just bring me back",
it said.
So I will save
it for the day
when someone takes
my heart away.
Then I will say
to them, "Behave,
and
Just bring me back."}

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and write things that make no sense. Except this time it kind of did make sense, so I wrote about it.

Crafts

_{They come from paper planes, dropping post-it bombs on the notebook romance of my life. I am soggy and red rimmed, but I will survive. So we all decorate our lives, colorful construction paper cutouts dashed haphazardly on the page as confetti and glitter glue illuminate our way. And when the pages stick together, what can you do but laugh? We are only arts and crafts.}


Arts and Crafts. It started with the first sentence, and I really couldn't think of anything that fit it from there so I just made something up so that it wouldn't bother me too badly.

Track

_{I had to find
the track of time
before I could find you,
but your smiling face
stands in the way
of what I want to do.
So get off my path
I'm moving past
my past (and that means you).
Your handsome face
will have to wait-
I've got better things to do.}


You know the saying, "I lost track of time"?
I started thinking about that, and that was the beginning of this poem.

Silence

_{Sound slides into silence, shushed by slush and swallowed by snow. I am walking deliberately slow, towing a trail of breath behind me. The crashing crunch of boots through ice, footrprints of grey on a canvas of white- it is winter where I am, cold outside and warm within.}

Myself

_{I am the once was wet blanket, tumble dry only to the party time fiend, only on certain occasions for short duration, no time past bed time and minus annoying relations. I am the roller coaster hater turned hesitant liker; in no time at all I’ll be a rough and tumble biker (sarcasm brought to you by you friendly neighborhood soccer streaker I mean, striker). I am changing like the grass is growing like the wind is blowing and repainting the clouds in the skies, tricking your eyes into seeing different things, the different aspects of me. So put aside your one-lined descriptions, and get ready for something that can't be written- I am a mess of colors and words, smells and songs you probably haven't heard. I am nothing that you can be- I am strictly and uniquely made me.}

I think this is about maturing and being uniquely yourself, uncontainable/ "fearfully and wonderfully made".

Shoelaces

_{I picked up my dinner, spun around,
and began to walk away.
Time slowed down.
I stared at my plate,
thinking, "Crap, my spaghtetti.
Stupid shoelaces."
I am not aware
of my body twisting midair,
but I slowly realize I'm looking up.
My feet are stuck,
my arms are spread,
and my head
has knocked against
(and is currently propped against)
a chair.
I do not try to wonder how it got there-
it hurts to think.
I begin to notice a few more things.
My dinner is on the ground.
There's quite a bit of sound
that I can't quite understand.
I look at my hand,
still holding the plate.
I look back up, and a concerned face
asks, "Are you okay?"
After the words finally sink in,
I bare my teeth and grin,
get up, brush myself off, and start to walk again.
After cleaning up the mess, thanking the one person who helped,
and getting a new plate
(with food on it), I will laugh and say,
"Shoelaces will be
the end of me."}


It's long, but it's a true story.

So two of my friends are on social, and so our friends were all split up and at dinner on one person was sitting with Will so I was like, "Hey, I'll even it out or else it won't be fair." But then everyone moves to follow me leaving Jessica stranded, so I go to move back but my shoelace is untied and somebody's chair is in the way. All I could think really was, "Crap, my spaghetti" and "Stupid shoelaces".
Later I found it hilarious that I was so intent on saving my food that I didn't make any move to catch myself at all, hence me adding the part where I'm just staring at the hand that is still uselessly holding the plate.

Birds

_{There are lots of little birds on the telephone pole.
I don’t know why they won’t go.
I would, you know,
if I could fly.
So I try
to scare them off, light a fire beneath their wings,
but they barely do a thing.
They flutter a few feet,
and I am tempted to repeat
myself.
I know there is no help
for these feathered fools, though, and I move on.}


I'm feeling restless.

Silly birds. It's cold here! Fly away!

Dream

5 stanzas of 5 lines, 1 beat per

<sub>I
had
a
dream
that

you
said,
"Go
to
God."

I
said,
"One
day,
yes."

You
said,
"Go
to
sleep."

Then
I
dreamt
of
snow.</sub>


I could make it five lines with five beats per. That would probably make more sense.

Oh well.

Sugar

_{Sugar is sweet, and so are you.
And just like sugar, when I get too
much, things start to decay.
I am left wondering why it hurts to much to go away,
when you are obviously toying with me.
Once, I noticed that your teeth
were pretty far from white.
You must have too much of someone else's sugar in your life.}


Of course I wouldn't judge someone from the color of their teeth. I think I meant it to be symbolic, or a metaphor of sorts.

Somthing along those lines.

Cold

_{There is a layer of ice covering me
that you cannot see.
Things get confusing easily,
so I am protecting
my heart.
The closer you get,
the further I slip away.
Things are better, this way.}



"Cold Shoulder"

Boo, it's raining!

Cozy

_{Electric blanket, cover me
wrap your heated layers around me
and thaw these aching toes.
My muscles and bones
relax in your embrace,
and I am sure again
that I have a nose on my face.
So turn up the heat,
and snuggle in beneath.
I am snug with my mug of tea.
I'm finally
cozy.}


So, my room at home is the worst when it comes to keeping in heat. So I stole my little brother's electric blanket. I'M IN LOVE ♥

Autumn

_{The autumn trees let fall their autumn tears, and we rejoice in the streaks of color on the cheeks of fall. I cannot deny savoring the taste of it on my tongue, vibrant and crisp when I breathe, violently seizing me when I have to leave. So scarves and hats appear with winter coats, and no glove is ever left alone. Bare skin is cold skin, and we strive to remain warm within. So come inside before you get too cold, before the snow covers your way home. Come inside, and don’t come alone.}


I was trying to get some imagery & metaphors in there, along with the idea that this season is pretty and spent with people you love.

So, it's already snowed in this area of the US. In fact, I think the first snow was in October sometime, the teens or twenties.

Long

_{Lovely friend I miss you and the way your face looks when you smile. We haven’t spoken in a while- feel free to keep in touch. You know me enough, I’m sure, to know that I’m not to be trusted to communicate anymore. I love you just the same, and think of you often in my days. If you can’t write or call, promise one thing; if you ever get the chance at all, please think fondly of me?}


Long time no see (or speak).

For all the friends I forget to keep in touch with-

I still love you~♥

Doll

_{I’m mostly silent, so she loosens my jaw, twisting left until I want to talk. She curls my hair and says I’m like her doll, so I smile and say, “I hope that’s not all.” We laugh, she says that we’re good friends, and I begin to hope this dream will never end.}


Amy loves to dress people up & make them pretty... :D

Lakes

_{What of lakes makes them placid? Wavelets lapping, gently slapping sandy shores. I’m not sure anymore why I dislike them, smell or lack of direction. Perhaps it is the memories I carry with me, when all was bright and sunny and friends traveled in threes. We have grown older now and no one will carry me screaming into the lake. Did I ever like it, anyway?}


I used to like lakes, but all the ones in Ohio are gross. Plus, I've been to the ocean, which was way better than a stagnant stinky lake anyways.

Underwire

_{There is a thin blade of metal
curving beneath my left breast
it is coming loose and cutting into my chest.
I try to push it back but
whenever I move, I
once again feel a sharp suspicion that
it has come undone.
Later, I realize
that an underwire is sometimes like life-
nice until it falls apart,
edging painfully closer to your heart.
I laughed a little,
and put on a new bra.}


That bra was one of my favorites, too.
:(

Busy

_{I am rushing to and fro,
people to see, places to go,
I'm running
out of time.
I am working on the brink
of not getting any sleep;
I'm trying
not to whine.
It's just that I'm so busy,
and I just want some time
for me.}


Busy, busy, busy.

Loving it, but still. Kinda ridiculously full schedule. 7:30 am to 11 pm, always something to be doing.

Cents

_{Every fraction of a cent is a skin cell-
I'm losing pieces of myself.
Heart strings and purse strings-
they are the same thing
(for me).
Retail therapy doesn't work, you see,
when the guilt is so heavy
that it crushes the high.
So put those cute shoes back, and I
will show you the door.
I can't take it anymore.}


Even thrift shopping makes me feel bad now :(

So, I guess I'm not doing a poem a day.
WAY too busy.
I'm actually going to try this year :D

Rest

_{The wind sighs through nearby trees,
and I follow suit as I drift into peace.
The sun is resting against my skin,
and I let the warmth of it seep in
to my muscles. Tiredness is fleeting,
and I have some time before the next meeting.
For now, I have no burdens on my chest.
At the moment, all I have is rest.}



I love just sitting in the sun.
I hate the hot humidity, though.
It's killer :D

Cleaning

_{I'm on my hands and knees
I am begging with my hands,
please!
Dirt and scum and filth,
leave!
I am using all my elbow grease.
I am cleaning,
and this
is filthy.}

So, RA training and "sprucing up" the dorms.
Lots of hard work.

Moving

7 lines, 6 beats per

_{Sore muscles, heavy bags-
the longest road is the one
leading towards the end.
The beginning is there as well;
new room, new dean, new smell.
I am comfortable
here. See you soon, maybe.}

So, I'm here :D

Block

<sub>8 lines, 5 beats per

My head is pounding.
The paper is blank.
My eyes are hurting.
The cursor just blinks.
I can't get to sleep.
I can't really think.
Can't write anything-
writer's block again.</sub>


Ugh. I'm so tired. Still haven't packed...!

Tap

_{It is an old rhythm,
always cold inside of me.
I tap it out, sometimes,
when I get angry.
How fast depends on how
hot my blood is boiling.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Tap, tap, tap.
Tap tap tap.
Taptaptaptaptaptapta-
Like that.}


I tend to make beats when I get upset. Funny habit. At least I don't punch holes in walls anymore :D

So I posted three poems today to make up for the days I didn't. Just an FYI. Trying to post one every day this month.

Rooftops

5 lines, 10 beats per
_{I am soaking up sunshine on the roof,
closer to the sun than anyone a-
-round me. I am above my surroundings,
I'm even with the trees. Toast for fifteen
minutes, then flip me over if you please.}

I need to tan.
But it's so hot on the roof...
:(

Home

_{killer roses and overgrown weeds
broken bones and nosebleeds
fires and warm winter nights
bad storms and moonlight
books and paper everywhere
ever pervasive animal hair
stained counters and still-clean tile
all the things I won't see for a while.}

Not that I'm sad about leaving. I'm excited.
It's just...
You know.
Memories.

Patio

_{Yesterday I caught a mouse,
set it on the deck outside my house,
and watched it run away.
I felt a little sorry
for the tiny beat up body,
and I wanted it to stay.
But some things you set free
knowing you won't see
them ever again.
So I sat out on the patio
and thought, "For all I know,
that mouse might've been a friend."}

Because sometimes you let people run away, and sometimes they slip out of your hands. The point is- You might not see these people again, so love them while you can.

Train

_{I have not seen a train
mobile, but their tracks remain.
I wish to be like that, not seen
but you can see where I've been
from the marks I have left.
When I rust away, the world is not bereft
of some piece of me.
That is how I want to be.}

I didn't have anything to post until I started to type.
I love it when things come out like that~♥

Comfort

_{When you are filling the space next to me,
all I feel is security,
guarantee of positively.
When you leave,
all I feel is the emptiness of maybes,
and I wish you were next to me
again.}


Miss you~♥

(intermission?)

So, I didn't write any actualy poetry, because I had a poetic experience that I just couldn't translate & I wanted to share it with you.

So, I had the sudden impulse to climb onto my roof the other night. I do this regularly during the day, but never at night (that's when the mosquitoes really come out). Once I'm out there, I don't feel content to sit on the lower roof- I feel compelled to climb on to the next roof level. So I do. Now here I am, laying on the highest part of my house, and I decide on my own to watch for a shooting star. There are a few personal reasons behind it, but we'll just leave those out. I don't see any shooting stars because I'm so near the city, and I'm feeling pretty sad about it, when I see the North Star/ Dog Star. I kinda just stare at it for a while, and this HUGE thought dawns on me.
Shooting stars light up the world only momentarily, and while they are beautiful, they are only temporary. The North Star, in comparison, gives off a steady and reliable brilliance. The North Star has been used to help people find where they are, and lead them to safety. You can't do that with shooting stars.
I thought to myself, I am looking into the eye of God.
In life, we may have things we treasure; friends, significant others, family, your favorite outfit, a car or camera or computer, etc. The thing is, we can't take those things with us when we die. They are only temporary flashes of happiness in our lives. On the other hand, God is with us always, and if you think about it, more than always. He knew us before we knew ourselves, and when we are brought back to life through His love, it will be to spend eternity with Him.
I gave myself some time for it all to sink in, and realized that I no longer felt the need to be on my roof at an unreasonable time of night. So I climbed through the window into my room, and sat there while I came to the conclusion that Someone had sent me on to that roof, maybe just to have that epiphany.


It was a beautiful thought, and I just wanted to share it with you.

Concert

_{The rumble of bass and the vibrations in the air shake me, and I think that if the earth started quaking I would not care or know. We are jumping with the crowd, people pressed all around so that there is nowhere else to go. So we scream the lyrics loud and beat the air with our hands. Without having been there, the joy is hard to understand.}

So, Toby Mac & Diverse City concert last night.
AWESOME.
So much more hardcore than I thought it would be.

Hilarity

_{Do not speak to me if you do not want to be happy, for I will tug at the corners of your mouth with such surety that you surely will not know what to expect. What I say next is nobody’s guess, and I love to keep them on their proverbial toes. So do not set anything into straight lines, for I have come to loosen things up and your heart will be mine (just as any fruit can be shaken from a tree). I will jiggle us into hilarity.}

I think my favorite phrase is, "jiggle us into hilarity". I just like the word "jiggle" there.
:D

So, another lighthearted piece. I'm on a roll!

Facetious

_{Hello, goodbye,
it's time again
for this cruel world to meet its end.
Argentina, do not cry-
with this fall I die!
(whoosh)
(crack)
Ow!
I'm alive!
(high five)
Killing myself is the way I survive,
can't you see?
Nobody understands me!
Oh!
Cup of tea?
Certainly.
I take mine with cyanide-
a more sophisticated suicide,
don't you think?
So now, my sorrows, sink!
(gulp)
(cough)
Oh, no!
Not enough sugar, I fear,
to drown the taste of my tears.
All these years
I have tried,
but I just can't seem to die!
Killing myself is the way I survive.
A game of chess?
Oh yes!
Just as soon as I tie this rope-
so ends my only hope!
Goodbye, I cry,
and fall and die!
(creak)
(snap)
Oh!
The rope wasn't as strong as I'd thought-
this is the fifth good rope that I've bought!
What a waste,
and not even good taste!
So ends my failure-
(don't buy it)
Next time I swear that I'll bite it!}

It's more Tongue in Cheek, actually, but that's more than one word and I'm rather fond of my one-word titles.

Anyways, I wrote this a long time ago and lost it, and have just recently re-discovered it. It's quite hilarious, if I do say so myself.

I think it was titled, "Killing Myself is the Way I Survive."

Ascend

_{Bitter bitches do not start with me; can’t you see that I am living happily? Your wicked words and ways cannot hurt me. I am stuck up in the treetops nearest to the sun, absorbing brightness of soul and strength to carry on. You cannot reach me up this far, I will push your pain away like a current, and shoot your doubt down like the stars. So walk on, bitter bitches, you will never get to me- I am much to smart to let you see any sunless part of me.}

"Ascend" because it's about rising above the negativity and saying, "Hey, guess what? I don't care! :D" (except you'd actually smile, rather than just hold up a sign with a smiley face on it or something).

Clock

_{The clock’s heart hangs heavy, empty hands swinging to pass the time, its constant murmured mantra, “You never were mine.” I am rhythmic in denial like my friend, thinking in circles with thoughts like, “If only I could try again.” If only you would lay fingertips on me, we could see how to keep measure with our heartbeats. So like the clock, though, I am still forlorn; until then, never lover, keep your hands warm for me.}

Are you tired of reading my sad nonsense? Because I'm pretty tired of writing it. I'll write something sunny soon, I promise.

Liar

_{Hell is melting in your eyes, and I have never seen so many lies in one place. A small novel scrawled upon your face, medleys of “I’ll try,” and “You’ll be fine.” I look away, but your hands carve forgeries as well, the fictional stories at which you excel. I cannot cut the cord of blood that binds us, nor can I hide (for God finds us all). Until someday, I can only close my ears when you try to say, “Everything will be okay.”}


I hate it when people lie to me.

You

_{I love ___, and couldn’t live without ___r smile, ___r touch, and ___r eyes. It is ___ that I see in my dreams, smiling at me (no surprise- ___ always were the gentler one). Someday I will be with ___ again, lover and friend. Until then, I bid ___ adieu.
Always ___rs,
Without ___.}


"Without You" or "Something Missing".

One of those.

By the way- not writing this on personal experience.
Just thought I'd put that out there.
I'm not a completely hopeless romantic.
_{I'm still in denial :D}

Storm

_{There was a big storm last night, earth-quaking, hands shaking in the absence of someone to hold. The blanket served to cover the cold and muffle the sound and light, eyes closed against the flash of white and ears plugged against the beating drums. I fell asleep when the storm did, sky lightening at the edges as day approached. I dreamt of warm places and comfortable things, familiar faces I couldn’t recall upon wakening.}

I hate thunder storms when I'm alone.

Mary/ Candy

_{I inherited the bag of cotton candy, last in the row and most eager to fill my mouth. I am remembering the taste and smell of childhood dreams, redheads, ice cream, and shiny noisy things. Once again I smell the vendors and greased carnival machines. I smile as the sugar melts, and I am back in the worn chair of the living room. I am thinking of you}

They both end in why, as well.

Paper

_{Ours was/is a notebook paper romance, held close between the lines and under the stars.
We were/are creased and folded in phases, worn with sleep and washing and fire lit places.
I was/am more likely to scribble out mistakes, while yours continue to creep shyly along the page (they are less noticeable that way).
You had/have the most beautiful brown eyes to read my words, stumbling blindly just to be heard.
I was/am not sure of anything- so for now, despite everything, I will fold us up and put it away.
Someday, I will reply.}

Invitation

_{I got your graduation invite today-
there was a picture of you inside,
and I learned your middle name.
Some friends of mine
were there at the time,
and though I insisted we were only friends,
I was teased
mercilessly
in the way of joking high school girls.
You do not mean the world
to me,
and I do not put you before God-
I am still sad to see
that your picture is gone.
I suppose I must carry on,
and must do so without appearing anguished
(it is the worst thing to look
when being ambushed
by schoolmates looking for a little fun).
In any case, I've got to run.
Ciao for now, pen pal.}

Herds

_{He is hesitant with words,
gathering them into herds
before picking off a few
(weakest first).
I respond just as carefully,
and this order is fine by me-
without courage,
there is nothing I can do
(without thinking
too much of you).}

Glasses

8 lines, 12 beats per

_{Black plastic frames, constantly slipping off of my face-
narrowing my world to a clear window of sharp
details, otherwise invisible to my eyes
as they are, unaided. I long for my contacts,
but I must wait (patiently enduring) until the
prescription is in. The only part I enjoy
is watching the small rainbows form in my leanses.
The world is much more endurable with color.}

Me

_{I am no thing,
place or beast.
I am nothing,
in the least
of which I am
me.}